Note: This interview is fictitious and meant solely for entertainment purposes.
Q: Gentleman, thank you for joining us again, it has been a long time since we did our last interview.
Mike: Here we go!!!!!!!!!
Q: I want to first go over a couple previous fights. First, Anthony Pettis and his impressive finish of Gilbert Melendez.
Joe: That was the best Anthony Pettis we have seen in the Octagon, at least since the last best time we had seen him in the Octagon when it was the best Anthony Pettis we had seen.
Q: On that same card we saw Robbie Lawler defeats Johny Hendricks and become the new champ, thoughts on that bout gentleman?
Joe: Robbie Lawler is old school. A lot of new fans weren’t around when we were doing shows at Joe BBQ Hut in tiny little cities. Robbie Lawler is from an older generation and yet that was the best Robbie Lawler we had ever seen in the Octagon.
Mike: I like the way Hendricks was pushing the pressure like he did at UFC 154 when he fought Martin Kampmann.
Joe: Johny didn’t push the pressure.
Q: We have a couple fights…..
Mike: This interview is brought to you by Harley Davidson, the only motorcycle fit to be in the octagon.
Mike: Plugging the sponsors partner.
Q: Anyway, we have a couple fights coming up of some intrigue. Let’s start with Jon Jones vs Daniel Cormier.
Joe: There is bad blood in this fight. These two guys do not like each other. Daniel presents the toughest challenge to Jon Jones and his title and if Jon doesn’t mind is P’s and Q’s, he could be in trouble.
Mike: Let’s not forget that Jon Jones has the fourth best takedown defense when the fight is in the second round and there are over two minutes and thirty-three seconds left in the round when they audience is in a good mood and the weather outside is under seventy degrees in UFC history.
Joe: What he is saying is Jon Jones is a savage.
Q: Another upcoming fight matches Conor McGregor and Dennis Siver. Can Siver stop the run McGregor has been on?
Joe: All of Ireland and Tennessee will be shut down for this fight.
Q: I was unaware either fighter had a connection to Tennessee.
Joe: They don’t, but that is how huge this fight is. If Tennessee does not shut down I will send Eddie Bravo to shut it down. McGregor has been destroying his opponents but Siver presents a very real threat with his one punch knockout power.
Q: Actually Siver has very few knockouts on his resume.
Joe: But he has the power.
Mike: What people need to realize is Siver has the fourth best striking efficiency against opponents who have an O in their first name coming right after the letter N when there last name starts with an M.
Q: Also we have….
Mike: This question is brought to you by Bud Light. The only beer worthy of being in the Octagon.
Q: Um, thanks Mike.
Q: OK, we have Anderson Silva making his return against Nick Diaz.
Joe: Anderson Silva is the greatest mixed martial artist of all-time. Nick Diaz does not have one punch knockout power, but he will try and ware you down.
Q: I didn’t really want a breakdown of the fight.
Joe: I can get Eddie Bravo to break it down.
Q: No, that’s alright. Mike, how do you see this fight going?
Mike: Anderson Silva is a legend. Can he overcome his injury and get a win over the Stockton Bad Boy?
Q: Mike, I was asking how you see this fight going.
Q: Another fight we have is women’s bantamweight champ Ronda Rousey going up against Cat Zingano.
Mike: Ah, Larry Fitzgerald tweeting that he is loving this interview. Can’t wait to see you soon Fitzy.
Q: Yeah, ummm, thanks Larry. Anyway, is Cat a real threat to Ronda’s title?
Joe: These chicks can bang. Ronda has really never been threatened, but Cat presents the toughest challenge Ronda has faced yet.
Q: What would be your game plan for Cat?
Mike: Joe’s answer is brought to you by whatever the next movie Kevin James is in.
Joe: I would say to fight her fight. Don’t fight Ronda’s fight.
Q: Isn’t that everyone’s game plan though in some respects?
Joe: Yeah, but Ronda is a bad ass chick.
Q: Let’s talk about some other topics. Mike, I will start with you, how do you respond to fans who are critical of your commentary?
Mike: These stupid people, they think they can do my job and sit at home and…
(unknown man comes in and whispers to Mike)
Mike: UFC fans are the greatest fans in sports. Their passion is what drives the sport and I respect their opinions.
Q: Joe, in all your years, who is you’re favorite fighter to watch?
Joe: Randy Couture is…
(Same unknown man enters and talks to Joe)
Joe: Fedor Emelianenko time after time….
(Man enters again)
Joe: Chuck Liddell is my hero.
Q: What do you guys think of the new Reebok deal?
Mike: Ooohhh, let me practice. This interview is brought to you by Reebok, the only clothing company worthy of being in the octagon.
Joe: I hope they also give fighters those Thai cups that will help reduce the stoppages for nut shots. I don’t understand why more fighters are not using them. I’m hearing from the people in the truck that I am sitting at my best angle for this interview. Let’s see if they got it on replay.
Q: No, that’s ok. How do you both feel about the signing of CM Punk?
Joe: I can not wait to see this guy in the cage. Once he gets a team around him and can learn the game, he will be exciting. I suggest he take the time to train with Eddie Bravo.
Mike: Who is CM Punk?
Q: Gentlemen, I want to thank you both for taking the time to do this a second time, any last words before you go?
Joe: MMA is the fastest growing sport in the world. In three years we will be bigger than the NFL, in five years we will be bigger than the Olympics and probably by 2025, MMA may be bigger than life. People will take three hours out of their MMA day to sit and watch life.
Mike: What a great night this was, Joe Rogan stepped up with some great answers, Jason asked some good questions and looks like he is ready for a run, on behalf of Dana White, Frank and Lorenzo Fertita Joe and myself, thanks for joining us tonight, this has been a production of Zuffa LLC.